Saturday, August 17, 2013
First Family Daughters Fling Feces at White House Visitors
WASHINGTON - Hundreds of White House visitors who were anticipating meeting the First Lady on a sunny Friday afternoon were instead horrified when they were greeted with a fury of wet feces thrown with impunity in all directions by the Obama daughters. It occurred in the lounge room facing the Oval Office leaving a brown-yellow slurry throughout walls even reaching deep into the hallways. The pungent odor left about a dozen visitors gasping for air as they were air lifted to a local hospital.
A shaken witness who did not wish to be identified recounted, "All we could do was to run for cover." Another trembling visitor remarked, "They [Obama Daughters] would crouch down for another load and call out 'INCOMING!' before peppering us again." She added, "Many visitors literally played dead hoping not to get pelted again," Another anonymous visitor with a nervous chatter recalled, "I saw my life flash before my eyes. I thought I would never see my children again."
An anonymous White House employee exclaimed, "It was like a scene right out of Apocalypse Now and Gorillas In The Midst." She added, "I didn't think it could get worse when they painted graffiti throughout the Blue Room last week; but I was wrong."
When approached with this news Michelle Obama exclaimed, "Girls just wanna have fun!" The president could not be reached for comment.
Whether Sasha and Malia will be disciplined remains to be seen.
Jules Manson reporting for AP News.
Disclaimer and a Few Last Words
I do not work for and I have never worked for AP News. This story is politically incorrect satire and no racism is intended although the article does tread on a fine grey line. However some people may still have a problem with it. To them I say: lighten up. Yes I am lampooning the First Family but no one was harmed. The way I see it, anyone in the public is fair game for poking fun at especially if they belong to a politician with questionable leadership.
Top image courtesy of Google First Family 2012.
© 2013 Jules Manson — All Rights Reserved